The past few weeks have been life-changing for us(the crovens). Now mrs. croven and baby croven has joined me up here in penang and we just moved to a better apartment with a view of the sea and the penang bridge. Of course there were loads of things to do, but this time we were more than prepared. Actually, there's still a lot to do, but we have taken a brilliant approach to managing stress- keeping an empty mind. The fact is, we'll always have more todos than we can handle- why worry? So long as we know what those todos are and link them to our goals and prioritize, it's really no big deal. I've given up on complaining. Of course stephen covey and david allen hand some hand in my change of paradigm, but at the same time, they also strengthened my belief in the power of relaxation. being lazy, but getting things rolling.

For the past decade I have been analyzing people's responses when I ask them the simple question of "How's Life?". One common response I get is - "busy. there's loads to do. last night I slept at 3am preparing for my presentation and had to be in a meeting at 7am" or the likes. We've all been there. Pay attention to my question though. I did not ask "How's Work?". I asked them how life was and immediately they talk about work. Some are actually proud to say that their life is their work. Not that I have any qualms about though. to each their own. Everyone has a choice. And one of the things I learnt is that there is no such thing as "have to" or "must". There is only "choose to". Of course there will be consequences to the choice, but everything one does is based on choice. Nobody is forced to do anything. Even if one has a gun pointed at one's head- freedom of choice still exists. although it may seem like there's only two options- life or death... there is also the option of dying for something or living for nothing.

Of course, when I say "Keeping an empty mind" i mean it in the context of memory of things to come. We should all think before we do anything- but we need to think of how to do it rather than just think about doing it. We shouldn't worry too much about what has not happened yet or what we have not done yet- just keep note of it somewhere and do it when you can. I find that the best way to manage stress. We'll always have things to do. It does not help to fill them up in our heads. of course there are methods of keeping an empty mind- you don't just switch off. that can be hazardous as well. but the key here is the more relaxed you are- the more productive you become.

Being organized. What does it mean? Well, common thought would put it as being structured, knowing where things are, doing things at the right time, being in control of your time, your stuff, your everything. This would also include- your thoughts.

I have to admit that this is just one of my archilles heels. By nature, stating that I am not a very organized person would be an understatement. I'm horrible at it. Doing some self analysis, I find that this is where my strength contribute to my weakness. Being a focused individual, I tend to just focus on one thing and put everything else on "Autopilot". It's one of the things which drives mrs. Croven up the wall.

When I was younger, it would also drive my mom crazy. It's simply the fact that when I get an idea, I get psyched up and start working on it right away. Bulldozing through everything in my path until 1) I somewhat acheive what I wanted to do or 2) I get de-motivated or get a new idea which I think is better for me to work on. You can imagine what happens since my inclinations are toward technical projects. My plans would only involve the completion of the project without taking into account the mess I would be leaving behind. And it'll take ages for me to clean it up since I'll be engaged in something else and not have the time or energy to clean up. Electronic parts here and there, papers and books lying about, artwork left where I stopped working on them...

It's interesting to listen to what others consider to be their life goal. Most of the time you get the answer - "I want to be happy". or "Happiness". or "Living a happy life". Which makes you wonder- is happiness a logical goal?

Last night I decided to break fast with my Grandmother in Permatang Pauh. Left the office early, went to the pasar ramadhan near the office and crossed the bridge to get there. Although I've been in Penang for almost a whole year now, I have to regret the fact that I only visited her once so far this year. And this would be my second visit. When I first started work here I was hopping on and off buses, and given my bad sense of direction even after I started driving here 2-3 months ago, I put it off until my mom(her eldest daughter) asked me to pass some items to her.

Conversationally we didn't really talk about much except about what's been going on with the family, how mrs. croven and baby croven were doing, how my brother was doing... etc. It reminded me of my grandfather(her husband of course) who passed away 4-5 years ago. He was more of the storyteller, talking about his past. How he struggled to raise his children as a fisherman, a ferryman and at the same time being a part time door to door barber. He used to repeat his stories again and again and my grandmother would complain about him retelling the same story. It didn't really bother me much though, I tend to do that myself because I tend to forget if I had told a story to someone or not. Plus with the number of grandchildren he had, it was difficult to keep track. I am his eldest grandchild and after me there are more than 30 others. I've lost count of my cousins on my mothers side. Might even be more than 50 now. I guess the real reason why I didn't mind was the fact that I've never been much of a good listener. I tend to forget things easily. That's a weakness I have been trying to work on for years now. I simply don't know how to listen. Even when I take notes, I could hardly remember what the notes mean. But that's not the point I'm going to address today. 

Some of you might have noticed this site being down a few times. Let me be honest about what has been going on. I have been given the opportunity to deal with the work of hackers. Yes. Note what I am saying here. The opportunity. I mean, who in their right mind would waste time hacking a site like this anyway? It's a simple web journal which I host myself on an ADSL line. Not even worth hacking into. I have offline backups and I can easily restore the site and patch up whatever i need to patch up based on the attack when I have the time. I consider it practice in troubleshooting.

So those of you out there who think breaking into a site and defacing it to be funny... I would have no right to tell you otherwise, except for the fact that it shows bad character. However, we need lowlives like you to help us become better people. So I thank you. It gives me an opportunity to tighten security around here. And if you're looking for a job getting paid for what you do- drop me a comment together with your resume. I'll be more than happy to point you in the right direction. Let's not let that talent go to waste defacing measly sites like this one, shall we? I'm sure you'd just like to show your skills- but really- to whom? Me? Nope. I'm not impressed. merely amused at the lack of criminal creativity these days. I mean it's like stealing shoes at the mosque or breaking into cars to steal a measly RM10.00. Simply not worth the effort. There are bigger fish to fry out there and if you think about it logically- why stop at small sites like these? There's a reason why security isn't so tight here.

Anyway- I expect more attacks coming. But I'll just fix and patch whatever I need to when they come and when i have the time to. All I lose is a bit of up time, but I gain so much more strengthening security around here. Not like this site is popular anyway. (just look at the number of guests I have at any one time)

Paradigm- A set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them, especially in an intellectual discipline.

Note this definition of paradigm. It is basically how one views the world. Although almost everybody thinks they see the world as it is, nobody actually does. We all see the world based on our upbringing and experiences. Based on what we know, or what has been shown to us. Although we seldom notice it, The way we view the world is always changing. We never see it as it is, but we see it through our eyes with a filter lens of assumptions, concepts, values and practices which were already put there before we do any "seeing". 

I had breakfast with a colleague this morning. We got into the discussion of retention rates and how people leave companies. Or to be more precise- why. He brought up a topic of a friend he knew who had only been working in a single company her entire life. A loyal individual. One who seemed to be dedicated in her work and although complains a lot, has been in the company for almost a decade. I was told that the idea of jumping ship did cross her mind numerous times, but the jump never took place. Her current plan is to find a job in KL and demand a five digit salary before she jumps. A salary which is more than double of what she already earns now.

Well, I have no comments about her plan or dream. For all we know- that plan might even become a reality one day. I mean who are we to  be able to predict the future. The journey is going to be a long one, but she might eventually get there one day. Although this person is somewhat younger than the both of us- She has a dream, just as we did. And the way she sees the world compared to the way we see the world differs. Paradigm. Although here's the thing- if and once she gets there- will she be happy?

When one is young and unattached- one views the world in a very idealistic way. It's normal. I was there before and I believe so was this colleague of mine I was having the discussion with. In one's mind, career comes first because that's all it seems there is to life. Especially in an Asian society where work is about meeting deadlines and putting up the impression that one is a diligent worker. I should not use the term "reality" for this since we are talking about "Paradigms", but when "reality" does kick in- one's ideas about the world usually takes a 180 degree turn.

Just had the Kaywa reader installed on my mobile phone. For me, QR codes like the one displayed on the left here can now be deciphered on the go. Also just found out that i can build qr codes using google chart codes. Cool. looks like there will be more of these little "ponyglyphs" on equinox in the future.

The one here actually spells out Baby Croven's name.

if you have a java enabled camera phone, you might want to try install the kaywa reader.

http://reader.kaywa.com

enjoy.

My iPod Touch is right now just one of the things I just can't do without. I plug it into the car audio system, I plug it into my apartment speakers, and when on the move I'd usually be connecting it via bluetooth on my Motorola S9 headset. Listening to music is just one of the things I do with it. I sometimes use it to browse the internet in wi-fi hotspots, or kill time playing "Lexitron", a text twist game clone. All this while running on 1.1.4 firmware. (Hacked of course- or the word they use for it is "Jailbreaked")

Why did I do it? some of you might be asking. Well, initially when Apple introduced this little wonder there was no way you could install anything on it without paying Apple for it. So it was more of a neccesity to hack it to unlock the hidden potentials the device had. Now firmware 2.0.1 is out. with this update, no more jailbreaking is neccesary to install 3rd party apps. The only catch is- the update costs USD$9.95 to download. Now, why should I be paying that when the people who buy the new units get it for less than the price I bought it for with this firmware preinstalled?

It was time for some resourceful thinking... I managed to get hold of the firmware via usual methods which I will not discuss here. The only problem now is that in order to install the thing, i would need to restore my ipod to factory settings- thus erasing all the media I have in it. Some of you might say- so what? you have your media on your itunes library- just resync-lah! Nope. not that easy. Being the eccentric do-it-my-way-and-disregard-the-newbie-manual-dude, I simply had to put my ipod on manual sync setup so I could drag only songs I want from my playlist... plus the fact that the songs are on the equinox server back in bukit mahkota while I'm here in Penang. Yes, i can always do the update when i get back one of these weekends, but once Xaphyr is in the picture, tech stuff becomes secondary.

So what do I do?

I reverse sync my ipod.... How the heck do I do that you might ask? iTunes only supports the copying of media from the PC to the ipod- not the other way around... Well, all I needed to do was install a winamp plugin called mlipod  and of course winamp.

details on how to manage this can be seen here 

 how to sync your ipod touch or iphone without using itunes

once all my media is backed up, i can happily restore my ipod to factory settings, do the update and reload my media into it once I'm done.

Today marks the 21st day of baby Croven's birth. It's just one of the reasons why I'm driving down to Klang today.There's also a wedding to attend and the fact that mrs. croven's mom(and all mrs. croven's siblings) will be flying up to Alor Setar this weekend for the engagement of mrs. croven's younger brother. Which obviously mrs. croven can't attend since she's still in confinement.

However- Starting tomorrow, we'll be in Bukit Mahkota for the weekend. So if anyone wants to come visit baby Croven- saturday afternoon is the best time. Just make sure you call me before coming over just in case.

The journey will begin at 4pm. As I mentioned in my previous post, my location will be updated periodically on this site under the entry - "Where am I?". So, in case anyone is curious where I might be today- just take a peek.  Will be spending the night in Klang where the next morning, mrs. croven, baby croven, as well as mrs croven's mom will be following me down to putrajaya and later back to bukit mahkota.

Weekly trips up and down the peninsular gives one the impression of time being speeded up. On the last day of the work week, I'd be all packed up in the morning and would head straight for the bridge as soon as my work day ends. On the first day of the work week, I'd be up really early to take the trip back north and go directly to the office. Usually each trip takes about 3 and a half to 4 hours. That's about 8 hours a week travelling. 8 hours lost? well, it really depends on how you look at it. For me, it's a good time to think. Plan out scenarios in my head, solve problems which need a step back from. It's also a good time to contemplate what I've acheived and what I'm still lagging behind at.

I've been asked many times- "don't you get tired driving up and down?". And so far, I never get as tired as I think I would be. I guess it's because of the car I'm driving as well as the fact that I find driving on a highway to be relaxing. I also find it a good way to practice something I have always been bad at. Planning. Especially when I have passengers. I would need to figure out the best way to pick them up and send them off without deterring from my original route too much. So long as I get enough rest before the drive- usually i arrive in a condition i'm supposed to be in. 

Today, Xaphyr is one month old as I left Klang this morning to later find myself in a very flooded Penang. I was supposed to go straight to the office, but when i saw the number of cars stranded due to water damage in front of the office building, I decided to turn back to my apartment and work from here instead. I prefer risking the wrath of my manager than having to flush out a water drenched engine, although I'm sure he understands.